the new plan

Yep, it’s true — as Abbey previously announced — we’re expecting! I’m around 15 weeks along, and we’re very excited! (And naturally somewhat terrified too, since this will be our first.)

To answer the first question everyone seems to ask, yes, this will change things with Benin.

We’re still going, and because we’re still going, Andy turned down his A-100 offer and will defer joining the Foreign Service himself until 2013. We realize this is a risk but are hopeful his high score will allow everything to work out in the end. We’ll see. But we really didn’t have any other choice. There wasn’t a job for him in Benin, so him becoming an FSO now and us being in separate places during the first few years of our kid’s life just wasn’t an option.

So, yes, we’re still going to Benin, but we’re no longer going in March. For the time being I’ll keep plugging along with French and other training at FSI, and to fill any remaining time before my due date in May, I’ll probably receive a temporary assignment at Main State. We’ll have the baby here in Virginia and then, most likely, head back to the Midwest to spend maternity leave time with family. And also to mooch free housing from them. See below.

Unfortunately, for tax reasons, we’ll have to move out of our current government-provided apartment no later than the end of March. (This blogger’s situation was a little different, but still, you can read more here if you’d like.) Finding and moving into a new place when I’m seven months pregnant doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun to me, so if you have any leads about furnished housing options available for just a several month stretch, please share! (We’re good tenants — I promise. And we’ll keep Abbey in check too.) And ideally it wouldn’t be too expensive either, since we’ll be paying out of pocket. I know, I know. Paying for our own housing again, like normal people — rough life.

We’ll ship out to Benin when all the paperwork and medical stuff is in order, which people in the know seem to think should happen in late July.

Since my work schedule will likely be pretty hectic and it looks like Andy will be able to fill a new, cool-sounding job at the Embassy for spouses, I’m trying to talk my mom into coming with us rather than hiring a local nanny. (Any advice about traveling with a parent as an MOH is certainly welcome!)

I’m pretty sure if we were heading to a tropical island my mom would have already made me put this offer in writing and started stocking up on swimsuits and sarongs, but, alas, Benin isn’t quite as much of a draw. I pointed out that Benin does have beaches, and she pointed out that they also have a rainy season that leaves a foot of water on the streets. So… negotiations are ongoing. Time will tell how skilled of a diplomat I really am. In all seriousness, though, spending time with her first grandchild is obviously a big draw,  but coming with us would mean major life changes: closing down her used bookstore most likely for good, moving far away from my sister and so forth. Fortunately we’re going to a part of the world where childcare is affordable, so that’s a feasible option should we need it.

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abbey has an announcement

Do I look happy? Yeah, exactly.

But… good news for me! Come early May, I will finally be off the hook. My owners will have a baby to torture with this sort of stuff!

It seems like my owners are pretty excited about this news too, although I’ll let them tell you more about it themselves later.

As for me, I’m enjoying my stay at what I’ve come to refer to as my Ohio vacation home. There are so many rooms to sniff, and a yard too. And I don’t get abandoned as much during the day. And despite an accident on white carpet, they still give me lots of treats. And most importantly, there are no costumes whatsoever.

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , | 13 Comments

immersion: the good and the bad

Our immersion trip is over and we’re back to our classes at FSI. Like any learning experience, our French utilization was full of ups and downs, highs and lows, peaks and valleys.

Good: Successfully arriving at our first hotel in Nice, and explaining that we were early but asking if we could leave our bags behind the front desk until check-in time.

Bad: Successfully arriving at our hotel in Marseille and having no idea what the staff was saying to us. I blame the Marseille accent.

Good: Reading and completely understanding the service disruptions posted at the tram station in Marseille.

Bad: Struggling with the Marseille public transportation website which was only in French. I’m going to blame the accent again with this one.

Good: Negotiating, in French of course, some extra conversation classes at our school in Nice.

Bad: Failing to negotiate, even in English, a discounted rate on our breakfast in Marseille.

Good: Ordering dinner in French every night and always getting what we asked for.

Bad: Somehow accidentally ordering a coffee at a bakery when we’re pretty sure we didn’t ask for one.

Good: Realizing that everything we’re being taught at FSI is real. The words and phrases we learn aren’t just theory like imaginary numbers in math. They have real uses outside of the classroom. They are part of a real language that millions of people use every day. Learning French is not just some futile exercise designed to demoralize students at FSI. Understanding this gives us a great deal of motivation to keep going despite the difficulty.

Bad: At the same time realizing just how far we still have to go to be remotely conversational in real world situations. It’s great that we know two words for “car.” Unfortunately there are probably six more that we’ve never heard. We found that we could ask questions and usually understand the answers. But when we were in situations where we had no idea what to expect, and people were speaking at a normal rate without dumbing it down, things got real tough real fast.

Our trip was a good one and we walk away feeling motivated as we head down the final stretch (maybe) of our French lessons.

The fact that we could be sitting in Turkish class two years from now trying desperately to avoid using French is not something we allow ourselves to think about.

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

hotel loyalty

There are few things in life that Andy and I love as much as a bargain.

We go to dinner at ungodly early hours just to get slightly discounted pizza.  At the grocery store we’re loyal to whatever brand is on sale (and if our five cent discount doesn’t ring up, you better believe the cashier is going to hear about it). Even at outlet malls we head straight to the sale racks. Heck, we even got our dog on sale. (Abbey, if you’re reading this, you’re very cute and we love you very much, but your behavior has greatly depreciated your market value. Sorry. It’s true.)

So you would think that hotel loyalty programs would be something we’d be all over. You stay at the same chain regularly and eventually you get some free trips. Pretty cool. And truth be told, we are already daydreaming about all the points we’d rack up by putting Andy up at a Residence Inn rather than Oakwood when he’s finally able to accept an A-100 offer. But that stay will be business. When it’s pleasure, we just can’t bring ourselves to do it.

Here’s the problem: the only thing we love as much as a bargain is an authentic, interesting experience. And hotels with loyalty programs — generally big international chains — just don’t usually do it for us.

When we were looking into housing options for Nice, we first picked out a Sheraton. It was close to our language school, and it looked pretty nice, and better yet, because we’d be staying so long, we’d get triple the points. Sweeeeet. We tried and tried to convince ourselves to book it, but in the end we couldn’t. It just seemed so… sterile.

Instead, we found a charming small place called Hotel Armenonville — a former mansion turned into a family owned and operated hotel.

We spent our first week in Nice there. It was lovely, although during two days of torrential rains we did find ourselves wishing there was a hotel restaurant or room service. Our B&B days may be behind us…

For our weekend in Marseille, we picked The New Hotel – La Pharo, part of a smallish chain with a dozen or so properties exclusively in the Francophone world. Architecturally, I always love the combination of old and new, so modern interiors in this historic building really did the trick for me.


Then, for the second half of our stay in Nice, we opted for the totally unique Hotel Windsor, a boutique hotel whose rooms were designed by local artists.

They gave us a choice between two rooms. The first was really fascinating: everything, from the floors to the ceilings to the bed, was gold. We loved it but ultimately opted for this room, which seemed a bit more livable.


We liked all of our hotels and had a great time, but, truth be told, we’re still pining for all the loyalty points that could have been. Sigh. Are we being totally unreasonable here? Have you had wonderful authentic experiences at big chains? Convince us.

P.S. More about the trip to come.

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quelle surprise

We’re still in France (much more about that to come) so this won’t be long, but I just wanted to share the good news!

I don’t even have to wait for Thanksgiving to be thankful for my security clearance! Apparently I passed through security and final suitability without even knowing it. Today I got an e-mail offering me a spot in the February A-100 class.

Of course, it’s 98% likely that I’ll have to turn it down and put myself on the Do Not Call list since we don’t know of any openings for me in Cotonou, but Alex put an email out to her Career Development Officer just to check one last time.

I’m just glad I’ve cleared what should be the final hurdles.

Also, since I have top secret security clearance, feel free to email me your secrets. I’m trustworthy. The government says so.

Posted in Clearance Process | 8 Comments

au revoir

See you in two weeks! We’re off to France for our immersion trip!

In truth, we’re not actually leaving until tomorrow after our morning French class, but I have to ban myself from the Internet for the rest of the day because I’ve done absolutely nothing thus far to prepare for our departure. Aren’t people supposed to get more responsible with age? I seriously used to pack for trips weeks in advance. Sigh. What’s become of me?

Anyway, we’ll be based in Nice, but we’ll also be spending a weekend in Marseille and a day in Monaco. And wherever else our shaky French skills lead us…

Did I mention this counts as work? Yep, life is good. 🙂

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annoyances

Some things have been annoying me lately:

  • Synonyms. Just when I was starting to think I finally had a big enough vocabulary to communicate somewhat effectively in French, I read an article in class today and understood pretty close to nothing. Why? Synonyms. So far I’ve avoided them. My thinking: if I already know a word for something, why waste brain space on another? I’m better off learning something new. Unfortunately, Francophone writers aren’t cooperating and using only the words I’ve chosen to memorize… Darn them.
  • Idioms. These are actually worse than synonyms because I can usually translate them, but then I find myself confused and frustrated when my translations make no sense. What do I mean? Well, this isn’t the best example but it’s the only one coming to mind. My professor was talking about a classmate who had to go home early because she was “sick in her heart.” My classmates and I looked at one another, worried. She had heart problems? Oh my God; that’s serious stuff. But, no. Apparently in French, heart sickness really just means nausea. Okay, not the same thing at all.
  • FSI microwaves. Every kitchenette microwave I’ve encountered at FSI lately has seemed to have the magical ability to retain the smell of the last 27 things it cooked. And, I know FSI is a multicultural place and all, and that’s great, but what in the world are you people heating up in there anyway?
  • French writing style. Perhaps a little-known fact for those of you who didn’t know me before my Foreign Service life: I have a Masters of Fine Arts in Writing and have published quite a bit of memoir, personal essay and travel writing. And I still teach writing classes on the side. So, I like to think I’m qualified to spot bad writing. Let me tell you, French writers are either universally bad or (more likely) have a completely different style. In almost every article I read I come across at least one ridiculous thing that I’d never let my students get away with. For instance, today: an article started by describing a giant outdoor art installation promoting nuclear energy, which cost something like 3 million dollars. A bird flew in and broke it. Now, cut to the next paragraph. We’re talking about famine and how many people are suffering worldwide and how there’s nothing anyone can do. One bird can ruin a 3 million dollar art installation, and yet people can’t figure out how to eradicate famine. Um, no. That’s just not a strong enough connection. Sorry.
  • A new TV show called Bridalplasty. A commercial for this just came on. Apparently brides-to-be compete to win plastic surgery in time for their wedding. What? When I see ridiculous things like this I can’t help but imagining what foreigners visiting America must think it says about us, like when we’re in Japan and shake our heads in wonderment at their bizarre game shows. Except this is way worse. (On a related note, now seems like a good time to go on the record as officially supporting Sister Wives, a reality show chronicling a real-life polygamous family. It’s actually surprising great, and not even in a voyeuristic, I-can’t-believe-this-baloney-is-on-the-air sort of way.)
  • My looming end-of-training exam. This test is the only thing French department students talk about these days. At least once a day in class or at lunchtime conversation tables there’s a new report about how many more people failed, what’s wrong with the test, how we’re all doomed too, etc. I’m as guilty as anyone of the gossip, but it’s still annoying. We’re all type-A people; we’re not used to failing. I don’t want to think or talk about it anymore.

So, yes, I guess I’ve been a little perturbed lately. But you know what? I’m still getting paid to learn French. That’s pretty freaking cool if I do say so myself, and definitely worth the annoyances.

Except Bridalplasty. There’s just no justifying that.

Posted in FSI | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

security clearance movement

It turns out that Christmas may not be such an unreasonable goal for the completion of my security clearance after all. But that doesn’t mean any of you are off the hook for presents.

Since I last complained about nothing happening with my security clearance, some stuff happened. My lead investigator contacted me for the first time and then came over to my apartment for an hour-long interview. He dropped in to meet some people I know in the building too.

I also learned that my case has a target completion date of November 24. Admittedly, these target completion dates can mean close to nothing. They’re arbitrarily set based on when your case was opened, and for some very unlucky people they come and go with no fanfare, and it’s not until many, many months later that their security clearance is granted (or not).

However, there are at least two good things about this November 24 date:

1. From what I can tell, this must be two months after my case was opened. When Alex went through this process last year, her target completion date (and everyone else’s too) was three months after her case was opened. The fact that two months is now the target must mean there’s some pressure to get these clearances done quickly.

2. Alex got her clearance about a month after her target completion date. Although you never know for sure, my case should be even simpler than hers. So hopefully the November 24 date won’t be too far off.

However, there’s some bad news too. As far as I can tell, no one has even begun looking into the five-year chunk of my life spent in Detroit.

Posted in Clearance Process | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

new traditions

I can’t remember how or why it started, but when we lived in NYC we had a cheap subway map mounted on a foam board, hung it on the wall, and then stuck in push-pins to mark every subway station we visited together.

Some lazy weekends when we didn’t know what to do, we would take off for a random faraway neighborhood just to earn another push-pin. (And, you know, to explore and stuff.)

We lugged the map along with us to DC, where it’s been living in our closet for the past seven months… until… yesterday! Andy surprised me by unveiling a framed version!

Admittedly, I suggested we get it framed about six and a half months ago, back before Andy was in French and when he was desperately looking for things to fill his days. And yet back then he whined about how he had far better things to do and just couldn’t possibly find the time. So, let’s keep that in mind when trying to decide how many husband-of-the-year points he gets. =) Nevertheless, a nice gesture.

Hopefully this map will eventually be joined by many others. You see, shortly after we signed on for this Foreign Service lifestyle we decided that to remember each country we called home for two or three years, we would invest in a nice, preferably old-timey map.

We like the idea of having a physical reminder of each post. Some people collect paintings, others masks, and others jewelry. But for us, maps just make the most sense. As a kid I had a dorky habit of spending hours hunched over a Rand McNally atlas, strictly for fun. And I’ve often caught Andy in the living room staring at the giant West Africa map I picked up at Main State. (Yes, it’s true. There’s a map room in the library where they just give out free maps. Go! Now!)

Even though we’re pretty settled on our new tradition, I’d still love to know how others remember — or plan to remember — where you’ve been.

Posted in FS Life | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

hello up there

In our old tiny apartment, the space under the bed was packed full of boxes, so you can understand why it took me over six months to realize that in this new more spacious apartment, the space under the bed is empty — and better yet, perfect for me!

Stay away. This is my space.

I first discovered this when I was desperate for a hiding place to escape the scolding. They chased me into the bathroom, and into the closet, and into the kitchen. I couldn’t get away! And it wasn’t fair anyway. All I did was chew some socks and paper towels. Big deal. I’m a dog. That’s what we do. Then, suddenly, I had an idea… under the bed! They can’t get me there!

A few trips under the bed later, I realized something else. This wasn’t just a good hiding place for after I chewed a sock or a paper towel. I could hoard my socks and paper towels down here and chew my little heart out. Here, there’s nothing they can do about it!

Then I realized, you know what, I could even sleep down here some nights if I wanted. I like my owners and all, but sometimes I get tired of them moving me around in the middle of the night. Boy owner always pushes me away, and girl owner always pulls me closer. Here, I don’t have to deal with any of that. And if anyone lifts the bedskirt to disturb my peace, I can just growl and bark until they go away. Like I’m doing now.

Posted in Abbey Q. Howley | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on hello up there