Lately my owners have been talking a lot about something called “consular training.” Apparently they are almost finished with a class that will teach them how to become consular officers. I’m not really sure exactly what a consular officer does, but from what I’ve overheard, they can help American citizens when they get into all sorts of trouble overseas – like when they get sick or go to jail, or when someone steals the socks they carefully hid under a bed and they want them back because socks taste so good.

Well let me tell you, I could have used a consular officer this weekend. You see, I was all set to enjoy a relaxing long weekend with my owners when, without doing anything wrong, I was sent to jail! They called it a “kennel” but it seemed like jail to me. There was a phone there for dogs to talk to their owners, but I wasn’t allowed to use it. I don’t think I could have heard anything anyway because all the other prisoners were barking so loud.

One time I heard my owners say that a consular officer will usually visit a prisoner within 24 hours, but nobody came to visit me at all! I had to wait three days before I was rescued. I was treated well, by prison standards. And they did give me that wet food I love so much. (They even told my owners I “gobbled it all up.”) But I was still in prison and I didn’t even know why.

I came to find out later that my owners went to New York City to visit friends and see their old neighborhood one last time before something called a “baby” arrives. They even saw the old dog park where I used to go every day! I loved it there, except when other dogs would try to come in. I hated those guys.

I’m glad everyone is back and it sounds like there won’t be any more trips for a long time. But I’m worried about what this baby thing is. I wonder if a consular officer can help me with that too…