animals

Out for a drive last weekend we encountered this guy.

Hello.

We’re used to seeing chickens wandering the roads. Horses and pigs are no longer a surprise either. But this was a first.

Just as I was instructing Andy to get out of the car so I could take a picture of him next to the creature to appropriately demonstrate how giant it was, the buck jumped up and started ramming those big horns against the tree. Whoa there buddy. Message received. Moving along.

Later that same day we encountered these fellows for sale on the side of the road.

Hope they're not claustrophobic.

Too bad for the vendor that he didn’t have beagles, because I probably would have paid a ridiculous amount and bought up every last one. Even these non-beagles were pretty tempting. I resisted, but there will be plenty more opportunities. Oftentimes when you’re sitting at a stoplight someone will come up to your window waving a tiny puppy in each hand. I have no problem shooing off the guys trying to sell bug zappers or alarm clocks, but puppies? They’re going to get me one of these days.

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cityscape

Cotonou feels like a pretty small city, probably largely because our house is a five-minute drive from work, and the restaurants and stores we usually frequent aren’t much further away. But with a population of 700,000, Cotonou is not actually all that small. Population wise it’s about the size of a mid-size American city, like Indianapolis. During a recent lunch at a rooftop restaurant, we were reminded by how far the city actually stretches.

Hello down there.
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hardship

I’ll be bidding this summer so we’ve started talking a lot recently about where we’d like to go next. (Truth be told, we’ve been thinking about this for a long time. We’re planners. So sue us.) Although we at one point had dreams of Paris or London, reality has set in. We’re currently serving at a hardship post, but not at enough of a hardship post for Paris or London to be realistic goals. (Not that we won’t try. Don’t worry Mom, we’ll try.) We’ve begun warming to the idea of serving at another hardship post, so long as the hardship is a different sort of hardship than what we’re currently experiencing.

Conjested traffic and long commutes? No problem. We’re city people. We can handle that.

Smog? Pollution? No big deal.

Crime? We can manage that too.

What can’t we handle, you ask? Well here’s one thing: bad Internet. We’ve spent the last five days without Internet and let me tell you, it was pretty close to torture. We almost made our way through Downton Abbey and I have to tell you, I don’t entirely understand the craze surrounding that show. It’s fine, it’s watchable, but would I have been glued to it if I could have been obsessively checking Facebook and parenting message boards like I usually do? Definitely not. Andy has also finished the entire series of Hunger Games books, something I’d like to think he would not have been so absorbed in with lots of other entertainment options.

We missed the Internet big time while it was gone, but even when we “have” internet here it’s decent quality at best, despite paying about five times what we would be back in the U.S. Sometimes we can Skype with our parents. Sometimes the pictures on websites load. Sometimes Target.com is slightly faster than molasses. Not often.

Is high bandwidth a valid bidding criterea? Here’s hoping.

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around town

Admittedly, we’ve been pretty awful about capturing Cotonou during the almost 10 months we’ve been here. Beninese people don’t really like to have their picture taken, so venturing out with my big SLR is a recipe for disaster. (Other expats have been known to be chased out of public spaces for flashing such cameras.) So if you want to take pictures you need to be kind of sneaky about it. A point-and-shoot is great for this, but unfortunately the one I’ve been using had a really slow shutter speed — too slow to capture anything besides a blur. Luckily I recently got a new one that’s a little more effective, so voila, some shots from a morning drive.

Here’s something I’ve been meaning to take a picture of since arriving:

Baby on board.

Every third or fourth motorcycle you see has a baby on board. It gives a little perspective to my stressing about which of the several hundred dollar car seats is an iota safer than the other.

Day of beauty.

Makeshift beauty salons are set up all over town. You also often see makeshift manicure stands on the side of the road.

Also on the side of the road…

Just roasting a pig.

And, a little ways outside of town…

Amusement?

Surprisingly, there are at least two amusement parks in the Cotonou area. When we first arrived there were three, but at far as we can tell the third is gone for good. Now that Flynn’s getting almost big enough to enjoy that sort of thing we probably should go one of these days. However, I’m wary enough about amusement park rides back home where there’s some semblance of safety regulation, so Flynn’s going to be pretty limited in what I’ll allow him to do here. Really tall ferris wheel? Not a chance.

Hauling stuff.

As you surely know, it’s common practice to carry things around on your head throughout Africa. Probably the most impressive I’ve seen was a guy carrying a full-size couch on his head while riding a motorcycle. I didn’t have my camera on me that day, sadly.

Discarded coconut shells.

Coconuts are everywhere, as are pineapples, avocados, mangoes… we’re pretty lucky in the fruit and vegetable department.

Hello there goats.

Cotonou doesn’t have some of the more exotic animals you might associate with Africa, but it’s not uncommon to see goats, chickens, pigs and horses hanging out on the street. Sadly for Abbey, only lizards and the occasional frog make their way into our yard.

Grounded.

You know how some run-down U.S. neighborhoods have abandoned junk like rusted out cars all around? Well, my neighborhood can top that — we have a grounded airplane that’s slowly crumbling. The story we’ve heard is that there was some sort of entry or exit tax dispute that resulted in the plane being abandoned. Who knows.

A day at the beach.

One of the loveliest parts of Benin is the beach. Having grown up in the middle of the country, far from water, it still baffles me that everyone flocks to the beach on holidays. Christmas? Head to the beach! Easter? Head to the beach! This isn’t how my childhood holidays were spent…

Palm tree forest.

Speaking of the beach, this is the road that takes you there. Not bad, eh?

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just hanging out

Nothing momentous to report. We’ve just been doing a lot of hanging out lately. See?

Why Mom, why?

Flynn had a fun first Easter. He attended an Easter Egg Hunt with lots of big kids that he found a little bit exhausting. But it was worth the effort because a week later he still carts around his empty eggs with him everywhere he goes.

I'm pooped.

He’s walking all over the place these days. Dancing even.

Check it out: my pants match Mom's dress.

He’s trying to run too but doesn’t quite have the hang of that yet — luckily for Abbey.

Happy family. Abbey too!

We continue to keep ourselves busy catching up with old friends, revisiting favorite Cotonou haunts and settling back into work. More details soon, I promise!

 

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back in the saddle

I quickly returned to my old routine here in Benin... eating mangos, chasing lizards, riding around on backs...
And as Mom predicted, Marie whipped me into shape in no time. Walking? Please, that's for babies. I can walk and change the channel with my teeth all at once. (Okay, one of those things may not be on purpose.)
All this walking gets to be little tiring.
And despite the fun, sometimes I get grumpy because I really miss....
Wait, who's that? What are you doing here? Dad!!!!!!
With my family together again, I can now dive back in to normal life.

Andy got the all clear from his doctor on Friday and we were able to get him on a flight Saturday. (Thanks to the Embassy’s fabulous Management section for their last minute help!) He arrived in Cotonou on Sunday to a very confused but ultimately excited little son (and a not at all confused and just simply excited beagle). All told Flynn and I only spent 10 days back here without him.

It’s been both good and strange being back in Benin. We’ve been happy to return to a house that much to our surprise really does feel like home. It’s been so nice to see people we’ve only been able to keep up with through email and Facebook.

But after two full months in D.C., we don’t just feel like we’re picking back up where we left off. The time away gave us some unexpected perspective about our first six months in Benin, and we feel in a way like we’re now starting anew. Changes are afoot. Stay tuned.

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reunited

Back in Benin…

Good to see you girl owner, but did you reaallllly have to bring the little one back with you?
I'm trying so hard to be good, but I know what's coming.
Ugh. Here we go again.
That's it. I'm standing up for myself.

Luckily Abbey’s a lot less vicious than she appears. She growls and then licks Flynn, which makes him giggle and distracts him from whatever he was doing to annoy her. Hopefully that pattern lasts a while, because Flynn is more interested in her than ever, and now that he’s faster and is able to climb up onto couches and chairs, it’s not as easy for Abbey to take refuge. But I did find her yesterday hiding beneath a pile of pillows with just her tail sticking out, so maybe she’s got some tricks up her sleeve yet.

 

 

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a very american sunday

Yesterday, on our last weekend day together as a family before Flynn and I head back to Cotonou, we decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and head to a park.

Hi from the park!
Mom, stop making me wave. It's embarassing!
Let's get this show started, Mom.
Wheeeeeee!
Wait. Who's that cute girl over on that other swing? Hi there!

Flynn also enjoyed the slide and trying to eat leaves, grass, flowers and whatever else he found on the ground. He saw people playing volleyball, tennis, baseball, soccer and even cricket, and his dad told him a little about each sport except the last one. “I’ll let you in on a secret, son,” Andy said. “Cricket’s not a real sport. It’s just a trick the Brits and the Indians play on us Americans to make us feel stupid.”

If we’re ever posted to India I’ll be sure to enroll Flynn in cricket Little League pronto; I can just imagine the scowl on Andy’s face as he sits with the other parents in the cheering section…

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going back

Flynn and I are heading back to Cotonou in a few days and I must admit I’m a little scared to face his nanny Marie. Apparently in Benin most babies start walking around seven months, and Marie was convinced Flynn would be no different — despite my explanations that walking at a year or so was much more common for American babies for whatever reason.

Nope, Flynn will do it at seven, she insisted.

Seven months rolled by and no walking, much to Marie’s chagrin. We headed back to the U.S. at eight months and Marie told us to hurry back so she wouldn’t miss this milestone. Well, we didn’t exactly hurry back. Two months later, at almost ten months old, Flynn stands for long stretches and sometimes takes up to four or five steps when we dangle a favorite toy just out of reach, but he’s definitely not bipedal.  Marie will not be happy.

This picture makes him look deceptively mobile.

I’m excited to see whether Flynn remembers Marie. I think he will. I think babies are a lot smarter than I realized. Although Flynn Skypes regularly with his grandparents, until recently I was fairly sure he just thought we was watching a fun TV show. But this week out of nowhere he started playing hide and seek with my mom via Skype. He ducked down under the table where the laptop was sitting, and then waited to hear “Where’s Flynn?” before popping back up and giggling. When my mom moved out of frame and then jumped back into view, he laughed at that too. Again and again. I guess he did understand he was interacting with a person.

He’s interacted with a lot of new people these past few months (most of whom he now waves to, sometimes with both hands), but I don’t think he’s seen a single dog. I’m curious to see how he reacts to Abbey, and what Abbey thinks of him now too. I predict she’ll ignore Flynn entirely, jump on me for a few minutes and then proceed to search every corner of the house and yard for her favorite owner, who unfortunately will not be traveling back with us.

We’re hoping that will Andy join us back in Benin a week or two later. He’s done with chemo but has had some strange test results that still need to be investigated further. For a while the working hypothesis was that he had a whole other disease on top of the cancer, but now that has pretty much been ruled out. It seems the chemo drugs mixed with the post-surgery painkillers mixed with his malaria meds are the most likely source of the strange results, but he still needs to be poked and prodded and tested for a while longer to make sure.

Hopefully the resolution will come quickly because a dad should get to see his son’s first real steps, and I have a feeling Marie is going to do her best to quickly whip a certain non-walking ten-month-old into shape.

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leave

The federal government has a program through which employees with leave time they won’t be able to use can donate it to other employees who have used all their leave time and – because of an emergency — need more.  I used up all my leave for the two months I stayed home with Flynn, so I was in quite a bind when this whole cancer situation barged into our lives. If we worked in the United States I probably could have made it work. I could have taken a few hours off here and there to go with Andy to important doctor appointments; I could have been there with him in the evenings and on weekends for support. But because I live and work in Benin there was no way to really support and care for my husband as he medevac-ed back to the United States without straight up leaving my job.

Thank goodness for the voluntary leave transfer program.

I didn’t really expect to receive many donations, however. Most of the other federal employees I know are relative newcomers like me who don’t have oodles of extra leave time built up yet. Plus, while people can certainly donate to strangers, I’ve heard this happens more toward the end of the calendar year when leave is going to expire if not used.

Still, I applied to the leave transfer program anyway, and a department notice went out with my name. No one really reads those things as far as I can tell, though, so I knew I needed to email colleagues and friends asking pretty please to consider donating to me. But I hadn’t gotten around to it yet.

Then today someone I met only a few weeks ago (when I started my temporary Main Sate assignment) asked me how my donations were coming in. “Do you still need more?” she inquired.

“Well,” I explained. “I honestly don’t know. I don’t think I have any yet because I haven’t asked.”

“You have some,” she assured me. “Trust me, you have some.”

So I checked. Indeed, I did have some. In fact, I have enough to cover the time I need at this point two times over. Wow.

(Don’t worry — any leave I don’t ultimately use during this cancer ordeal will be restored to those who donated. Now that I’m working in D.C., hopefully I won’t need to take any more time off, but it turns out Andy’s not totally in the clear yet so we’ll see what happens. More about that another time.)

To you anonymous donors out there, whoever you are, a very big thank you from our little family.

Because of the generosity of others I wont have to resort to taking leave without pay, which would have forced us to pay our hefty health insurance premium ourselves among other inconveniences.

As thankful as I am for the leave donations, the situation is still not perfect, and so this is the paragraph you should skip over if you’re not in the mood to listen to me whine. In addition to having to deal with this whole cancer thing in the first place, I had to burn through every minute of my own leave time before taking donations from others. It’s a fair rule. I don’t disagree with it. But it’s also a real bummer because it’s been years since I’ve taken a vacation (I was saving up leave for maternity leave), and instead of vacationing in South Africa and France as I’d been eagerly anticipating, the leave I built up since having Flynn was whittled away in hospitals and doctors offices. There will be no vacationing for me anytime in the near future, sadly, and trust me, nothing makes one need a vacation more than having a new baby and then dealing with a cancer diagnosis. Sigh.

But the important thing, of course, is that Andy should be okay. Our little family will be okay. And slowly I’ll build up some leave time again and one day we’ll go on a very nice vacation. And then years and vacations will float by, and maybe a decade from now when Andy’s engrossed in his job and Flynn’s busy with little league and soccer camp, I’ll find myself having more leave time than my family vacations can fill. And when that’s the case, I can’t wait to pay forward the favor to some other anonymous person whose name appears in a department notice.

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