It’s been over two weeks now, and I have no idea where they are. Rumor has it that my boy owner might not be back for quite some time, and let’s be honest, we all know he’s my favorite (I could do without the other two, frankly).

Last thing I knew we were all together enjoying a nice family Christmas.

Then, boom, gone.

What did I do to deserve this?

I suspect it might have something to with that new miniature owner. But you all need to understand that it doesn’t count as stealing his food if he is the one to reach down to give it to me! And licking it off his face? Well, once it’s on his face it’s no good to him, now is it? I’m just helping. And yes, sure, one time I accidentally bit his hand going for a cracker, but it was a mistake and I served my time out in the yard and learned a valuable lesson.

If you want to know the truth, my owners have not paid enough attention to me since that little guy came along. So really, I should be the ones punishing them. But I miss them anyway. The lady who usually tags along with the little guy is here tagging along with me now. She lets me sleep under the covers with her so I guess she’s alright. And I hear she also saved me from having to go live in a house with other dogs, because she knows how much I hate other dogs. So that’s good at least, but I’d still like my owners to come back, even the little one. Please tell them that whatever I did, I’m very sorry.

Well, luckily here in Cotonou, life’s taken a turn for the better. Here, when I growl at people on the street, they cower. When I bark, they scurry away out of sight.

I don’t know why everyone’s finally so scared of me, like they should have been all along. I heard my owners mumbling something about rabies, but I know I don’t have that because I had to get all kinds of shots for it. So I guess it’s just that they finally realized how tough of a dog I am.

Because I am very, very tough… except when it comes to bed time.

Then I began to hear that this was not always the case. Too often, students fresh out of six months of FSI language training would go to post and find that nearly everyone in the embassy spoke English. If they didn’t have to work with many people outside the embassy, their skills would actually diminish. It made sense, of course, but I was determined that this would not happen to me.

In the past week, however, I’ve discovered a second problem with maintaining my French skills – the more I speak, the worse I get. Let me explain. When I was in class at FSI, the most important thing was to speak correctly. The second most important thing was to communicate my point. That meant that if we were discussing an environmental conference or an African election, it was better not to make grammatical mistakes than to communicate a nuanced point. Now it was still important to convey the general idea I wanted to get across, but beyond that, it was all about the grammar.

Now that we’re here, the opposite is true. When I’m speaking with Flynn’s nanny about how much to feed him or how he likes his bath or what to do when he’s spitting up, I quickly stop caring at all about grammar and only care that I communicate my point. Conjugation? No time for that. Vocabulary? Hand gestures work just as well. Past tense? She’ll get the idea.

So I’m hoping that my sloppy French speaking doesn’t stick with me and I don’t return to FSI in two years only to find I’ve gotten worse. I understand there are some classes at the embassy that can help me improve and I want to take advantage of them once I start working.

In the meantime, I’m going to continue to believe that the French word for “ironing” is actually just a hand gesture, that pronouns don’t really exist and that everything that has ever happened is continuing to happen at the present time.

• Pre-baby promise #1: He will always be dressed in cute clothes.
• Reality: Eh, he’s just going to get it dirty soon anyway; sometimes a diaper is good enough.

Just chilling in my duck.

• Pre-baby promise #2: We will continue our lifestyle of minimalism.
• Reality: That toy makes him bust out the slightest smile? Buy 10 of them!

Imagine how much more fun this will be when my feet touch the ground!

• Pre-baby promise #3: Early on we’ll start him on a strict sleep schedule.
• Reality: We’re grateful for any sleep he decides to bestow upon us, whenever and wherever it should come.

Yes, I sleep on patio tables. What’s it to you?

• Pre-baby promise #4: We won’t let Flynn take too much attention away from Abbey.
• Reality: Whoops — totally forgot about Abbey for this year’s family picture. Sorry girl. Maybe next time.

The one picture in which Flynn isn’t crying or sleeping.

• Pre-baby promise #5: We won’t burden Flynn with unrealistic goals and expectations.
• Reality: Based on his early interest in standing, we’ve decided he should be walking any day now.

  Thanks for the help Mom, but I’ve got this.

• Our pack out was a success, we think. We used all 600 lbs of our UAB (unaccompanied air baggage) and were again surprised by how long it took movers to pack and load our small apartment. The benefit of packing out so long before our departure is that we won’t have to wait forever for our stuff once we’re at post. We’ve been told that our UAB should actually be in Cotonou by the time we arrive and the rest of our things should be there just a couple weeks later.

• We received Flynn’s diplomatic passport and applied for our visas. When we called to check on the status, almost two weeks after we were told the visas would be ready, we were finally informed that our visas were completed. In fact, they had been delivered to my parents’ house via Fed Ex this morning. We were so glad they were finally done that we didn’t even remind the processing office that they swore up and down they would call us as soon as our visas were shipped out. Now that we have our passports back, we can finish filling out the paperwork to have our car shipped on July 26.

• After much debate, we’ve decided not to use a pet expeditor to help send Abbey to Benin. Actually, it wasn’t so much a debate as the fact that the expeditor we were working with suddenly became very difficult and eventually stopped calling me back. So now we are doing it ourselves and will save a lot of money in the process. Abbey has received her shots and microchip. Next she has to go to the vet to get some paperwork filled out. Then the paperwork has to be stamped by someone at the USDA office. We are flying Air France and her reservation is booked. They’ve confirmed there won’t be a problem sending her even if it is hot out.

• This means that our flights are booked too. We will be flying from DC to Paris where we will have a six hour layover. Then it will be on to Cotonou. Alex will have to start working the very next day. Fortunately, though, it’s a half day at the embassy followed by a three day weekend.

• Speaking of jobs, my job in Benin is official – I’ve filled out a W2 and everything. The tentative plan is for me to start working two weeks after we get to Cotonou. We have a nanny lined up for Flynn, but I’m taking some time to make sure he gets settled in before I start my job. In case things don’t work out and we need a little more time, I’ve been given some flexibility in the start date.

• And finally, we are currently enjoying several weeks with family and friends in the Midwest. Flynn is getting to spend some extra time with grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. He’s having a lot of fun, but he seems a little tuckered out from the experience.

That is all the news from us. We’re really enjoying the time we get to spend with our families before we go, and it finally feels like this trip to Cotonou might actually happen. Our next step? Trying to remember how to speak French.

One sign that our departure is imminent: we have our travel orders!

What are travel orders, you ask? Besides being the name of a totally awesome blog, travel orders are what authorize an FSO to start spending the government’s money in the moving process — buying plane tickets, contracting a moving company to come get all your stuff, etc. We were very worried about not getting mine in time for our scheduled pack-out, because this would mean we’d have to stay in DC longer than planned and cut our time with family in the Midwest even shorter than it already is.

Amazingly, though, it only took a day and a half after we turned in Flynn’s medical exam paperwork for him to get his medical clearance, my travel technician to draft my travel orders and the budget office to approve and officially issue them. Yes, a day and a half. You FSO folks can understand how incredible this is. For you non-FSO folks: it’s very common for travel orders to take an inappropriately long time to come together, and we were told that during the busy summer transfer season things might go even more slowly.

Fearing the worst, I tried the “please take pity on me because I’m a new mother” approach and called to explain my situation to everyone involved in the process. Whether they felt bad about potentially denying grandparents any of the precious little time they would have with a grandbaby, or whether it was just dumb luck, I’ll never know. But I’m grateful.

There’s still a lot we need to do, but none of it is as time sensitive as getting the travel orders.

This moving business is tiring.

Yes, we still need Flynn’s diplomatic passport, but if that comes in after we leave DC it can be mailed to us. Yes, we still need to apply for visas as soon as we get Flynn’s dip passport, and yes it would be easier to get them while we’re still here, but it’s possible to apply by mail if necessary. We still need to buy some work clothes and some suitcases. We still have some hurdles to jump through for Abbey, but at least we finally know how she’s getting to Benin — and it will be a little easier and a lot cheaper than we thought. (I’ll let Andy tell you more about that later.) We still have to sort all our stuff and go through the pack-out process, but we have most of what we think we’ll need, as evidenced by the piles of Target bags and Amazon boxes stashed under tables and in spare corners.

So… this thing is finally happening.

For those of you in Dayton, Champaign or St. Louis — we’ll see you soon! Then we’ll be back in DC for a few days to tie up some loose ends before flying out on July 27.

• We got Flynn’s birth certificate which allowed us to apply for Flynn’s diplomatic passport. This in turn will let us apply for our visas. We hope to have the passport in a week. (A note for anyone in Virginia who needs a birth certificate quickly – just drive to Richmond and pick it up. We made the mistake of ordering an expedited certificate through Vitalchek as recommended by the hospital and it took over two weeks to get it and cost about four times as much. At one point our order was “in processing” for a week so I ended up going to Richmond anyway.)

• Our pack out is now tentatively scheduled for June 22. But first we need our revised travel orders that include Flynn. Getting these orders, of course, depends on Flynn’s medical clearance coming through. He seems like a healthy (if spit up-prone) baby to us, but our pediatrician has to fill out some forms and they have to be approved by the medical office. This is supposed to be a relatively quick process, but we’ve already been warned to expect delays due to the volume of medical clearances needed this time of year.

• Alex and I received our vaccinations on Monday. Aside from some sore arms, we are in good shape. Plus we’ll be better able to sympathize with Flynn when he gets his routine vaccinations next week.

• We think we have our nanny situation sorted out in Benin. At the very least we’ve decided on the person we want to hire initially. If it doesn’t work out, we can always make a change, but she comes highly recommended. Having something in place when we get there will be a relief.

• Our consumable shopping is going well. We have large piles of diapers, wipes and paper towels in our guest room, plus more shampoo and bug spray that I’d ever thought I’d buy. A few more trips to Target, Autozone and Amazon.com and we should be all set.

• We’re a little closer to figuring out how Abbey is getting to Benin. After initially thinking we’d use an expediter, now we’re leaning towards doing this ourselves. We were told we were flying on Delta which has pretty tight restrictions on transporting pets during the summer. It turns out, though, that the flights are operated by Air France, who is much more lenient. Now we just have to sort out all the entry requirements for France and Benin. The problem is that no matter who we ask, we get a different answer. France needs Abbey’s rabies vaccination at least 30 days before arrival, but apparently Benin needs it within 14 days of arrival. Do we get her two vaccinations to satisfy these contradictory requirements? Also, we need to have our health certificate signed by the USDA 3 days, or 10 days, or 14 days before arrival in Benin, depending on who is providing us information. This is by far the most stressful thing at the moment, but I’ve sent out emails to several different sources and hope to have answers by the end of the week.

Sometimes it seems like we have so much to do and everything is so difficult that there is no way we’ll get it all done. We just have to stop and remind ourselves that many other people have navigated similar situations before. Even though having a dog and a newborn make moving to Africa more complicated, we’re not the first people to do this. We also have to focus on the important thing – getting everyone there safe and sound. If we didn’t buy enough paper towels to last two years, or if we forgot to pack chocolate chips in our consumable shipment, well, it isn’t the end of the world.

• Get Flynn’s birth certificate.
• Add Flynn to the travel orders.
• Apply for Flynn’s diplomatic passport (after we receive form DS-1640 of course).
• Receive Flynn’s medical clearance.
• Receive Alex’s new postpartum medical clearance.
• Get visas for everyone.
• Schedule our pack out.
• Book our flights to Benin.
• Get all sorts of vaccinations.
• Buy our consumables.
• Make a final decision on Abbey’s accommodations.
• Figure out our nanny situation in Benin.
• Fill out the paperwork for our per diem reimbursement.
• Schedule some long-delayed dental and eye doctor appointments.
• Buy a few last-minute things we want in Benin.
• And, oh yeah, take care of a newborn.

Fortunately we had some time before Flynn arrived to get organized. Unfortunately, until he was here, there wasn’t much we could actually do except read the regulations and make a detailed timeline of everything that had to be done (yes, I brought these regulations and our timeline to the hospital so we could get a quick start on checking some things off our list).

So far, we’ve managed to make a small but promising dent in our mountain of things to do. The good thing about having a newborn is that suddenly 4am becomes a reasonable time to do some work. But I’d trade that extra work time for a few more hours of sleep any day.

In other news, I’ve overheard a lot of conversations about some upcoming trips. The first one seems fun. I’m going back to the midwest! Apparently once the baby comes, we’re going to stay in DC for a while and then head to my vacation home. I love it there because I get to see a lot of people who always give me extra food. (Also, could someone please explain to me what a baby is? I think it’s a new kind of stuffed toy, but I want to be sure.)

The other trip doesn’t make me so excited. I’m getting in an airplane and going over the ocean. That’s not happening for a while, but my boy owner is pretty stressed out about it. He said to someone on the phone that because it might be hot during the summer, some airplanes won’t let me on. If they won’t let me on, I’m afraid I’ll get left here by myself. Does anyone out there have any advice on how to get a (very well-behaved) beagle to Africa during the summer? Please? It’s pretty important.