Andy: I can’t wait for all the food we’ll be able to have when we get back to Washington.

Alex: Yeah, like good sushi.

Andy: And real pizza and burgers.

Alex: I can’t wait to go to Cafe Asia again. Oh, and brunch. I really want a good brunch.

Andy: I can’t wait to go to Ray’s Hell Burger and Five Guys and Outback and get McDonald’s for breakfast.

Alex: I’m going to make a pumpkin pie and get some good Mexican food and get free diet soda refills everywhere.

Andy: So that takes care of the first day. What are we going to eat on the second day?

That was the conversation we had when we were on our way back to Washington. After six months in Africa, we were feeling a little homesick. But now our bodies are starting to fight back. So we’re easing up. We actually went to the grocery store and bought some stuff to cook at home. Healthy stuff. Wow! We’re also realizing that we may very well be stuck here for a while, so there’s no need to stuff ourselves with so much deliciousness all at once. But come to think of it, the reason why we’ll be here for a while is because I will be starting chemotherapy soon. I don’t imagine chemotherapy will be very good for my appetite, so maybe I should place a Papa Johns order tonight after all…

Okay, sold.

The American Forces Network, or AFN, gives us access to American programming while we’re overseas. This is particularly nice since we live in a country where streaming anything over the internet is almost impossible. Even though we only get 3 channels (and our jealous of certain co-workers who get 10), we appreciate that we get some prime time programming and can count on having access to major sporting events.

Sometimes we question AFN’s programming choices (Big Brother three times per week? The Buffalo Bills every Sunday?) but ask anyone what they think about AFN and the first thing they’ll mention will be the PSA’s. You see, instead of commercials, we get PSA’s, mostly produced by the military, but sometimes by other groups.

So far we’ve learned:

• Shaking your baby is bad.
• You should never post personal information on the internet.
• Applying for citizenship for your baby is a long and complicated process.
• You should dress nicely when overseas so you make a good impression.
• Traffic and recycling laws are different all over the world.
• If you only have a limited about of time to use the internet at a library, write down all the things you want to do in advance so make the most of your time.
• Gary Sinise believes people might know him primarily from his musical endeavor, The Lt. Dan Band.

Because we get PSA’s instead of commercials, we’ve certainly learned a lot, but unfortunately, we have no idea what movies are playing.

So naturally one of my biggest concerns about moving to Africa was the driving experience. If I got irritated by driving around the US, where traffic laws were familiar (and exist), how would I feel about Cotonou, where people compare motorcycles to mosquitoes in the way they swarm?

The answer is…it’s not that bad.

We’re actually pretty lucky. We live on a paved road. In fact, our entire commute is on paved roads. We rarely run into much traffic on our daily commute. Parking is ample at the embassy and at the local grocery store. Even the torrential rains that turn some roads into large puddles don’t affect us too much.

But like I said, we’re pretty lucky. Not all driving in Cotonou is so easy. There are a few things that we’ve noticed that make us scratch our heads:

• Cars and motos parking in the middle of the street for no reason, as though no one thought another car might come down that road any time soon.
• Motos driving on the sidewalks, or the wrong way down a street.
• Traffic lights that are either broken or turned off, except when they’re not.
• Police checkpoints everywhere.
• Sidewalks are perfectly acceptable places to park.
• Turning right is always tricky because you never know when a moto will try to zip past you on the right, even if you have your turn signal on and are approaching a turn.
• Unlike in the US, traffic lights are not in places where one can actually see the light if one is the first car to stop. The standard procedure is to see a red light, pull up directly next to it so you can no longer see it, stop and finally go when the light turns green (which you only know about because everyone behind you is honking).
• Some big intersections just don’t have traffic lights. It’s every man for himself.
• The preferred method for turning out into traffic is to simply inch your way out until traffic stops for you. Then you may go.

All in all, though, we don’t have it so bad. I don’t have any terrible horror stories. The parts of town that have truly bad traffic are parts that we don’t have to go to very often. There are enough signs that we can usually figure out what we’re supposed to do. Still, as someone who never liked driving to begin with, “mass transit” might just find its way into the criteria for our next bid list.

Then we found out I would be working and Flynn would be coming, so we knew we at least needed a nanny. And we thought that would be it. The nanny could even do some light cleaning and laundry. There was no way we needed more help than that.

Then we realized how difficult some everyday things we were used to in New York and Washington could be in Cotonou. Need to buy soda? The best place is to buy it is a small shack about two miles away. Need cooking staples? Forget about going to the expensive supermarket near our house. Need spices? Cleaning supplies? Poultry? Vegetables? Start hunting around town. Doing all of this after a long day of work and with a small baby to care for quickly became overwhelming.

So we made the decision to find a housekeeper. At first we were convinced that three days a week was all we needed. Five days would be way too much. Then, when we couldn’t find someone for three days a week, we were willing to interview someone for two days a week. We still only wanted someone part time. When that didn’t work out either, we decided that we would interview anyone willing to work here – even full time.

And yesterday, after so much searching, we finally hired someone. She’ll be here full time and will clean, cook, run errands, do laundry, do ironing and, if our nanny is sick or on vacation, watch Flynn. She comes with good recommendations and claims to be able to cook pizza and chili. She didn’t even flinch when Abbey barked so much it made her young son cry.

It still seems strange to tell someone to do our laundry and make our bed, but we think we’ll eventually get used to it – and so will Abbey.

Then I began to hear that this was not always the case. Too often, students fresh out of six months of FSI language training would go to post and find that nearly everyone in the embassy spoke English. If they didn’t have to work with many people outside the embassy, their skills would actually diminish. It made sense, of course, but I was determined that this would not happen to me.

In the past week, however, I’ve discovered a second problem with maintaining my French skills – the more I speak, the worse I get. Let me explain. When I was in class at FSI, the most important thing was to speak correctly. The second most important thing was to communicate my point. That meant that if we were discussing an environmental conference or an African election, it was better not to make grammatical mistakes than to communicate a nuanced point. Now it was still important to convey the general idea I wanted to get across, but beyond that, it was all about the grammar.

Now that we’re here, the opposite is true. When I’m speaking with Flynn’s nanny about how much to feed him or how he likes his bath or what to do when he’s spitting up, I quickly stop caring at all about grammar and only care that I communicate my point. Conjugation? No time for that. Vocabulary? Hand gestures work just as well. Past tense? She’ll get the idea.

So I’m hoping that my sloppy French speaking doesn’t stick with me and I don’t return to FSI in two years only to find I’ve gotten worse. I understand there are some classes at the embassy that can help me improve and I want to take advantage of them once I start working.

In the meantime, I’m going to continue to believe that the French word for “ironing” is actually just a hand gesture, that pronouns don’t really exist and that everything that has ever happened is continuing to happen at the present time.

• Our pack out was a success, we think. We used all 600 lbs of our UAB (unaccompanied air baggage) and were again surprised by how long it took movers to pack and load our small apartment. The benefit of packing out so long before our departure is that we won’t have to wait forever for our stuff once we’re at post. We’ve been told that our UAB should actually be in Cotonou by the time we arrive and the rest of our things should be there just a couple weeks later.

• We received Flynn’s diplomatic passport and applied for our visas. When we called to check on the status, almost two weeks after we were told the visas would be ready, we were finally informed that our visas were completed. In fact, they had been delivered to my parents’ house via Fed Ex this morning. We were so glad they were finally done that we didn’t even remind the processing office that they swore up and down they would call us as soon as our visas were shipped out. Now that we have our passports back, we can finish filling out the paperwork to have our car shipped on July 26.

• After much debate, we’ve decided not to use a pet expeditor to help send Abbey to Benin. Actually, it wasn’t so much a debate as the fact that the expeditor we were working with suddenly became very difficult and eventually stopped calling me back. So now we are doing it ourselves and will save a lot of money in the process. Abbey has received her shots and microchip. Next she has to go to the vet to get some paperwork filled out. Then the paperwork has to be stamped by someone at the USDA office. We are flying Air France and her reservation is booked. They’ve confirmed there won’t be a problem sending her even if it is hot out.

• This means that our flights are booked too. We will be flying from DC to Paris where we will have a six hour layover. Then it will be on to Cotonou. Alex will have to start working the very next day. Fortunately, though, it’s a half day at the embassy followed by a three day weekend.

• Speaking of jobs, my job in Benin is official – I’ve filled out a W2 and everything. The tentative plan is for me to start working two weeks after we get to Cotonou. We have a nanny lined up for Flynn, but I’m taking some time to make sure he gets settled in before I start my job. In case things don’t work out and we need a little more time, I’ve been given some flexibility in the start date.

• And finally, we are currently enjoying several weeks with family and friends in the Midwest. Flynn is getting to spend some extra time with grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. He’s having a lot of fun, but he seems a little tuckered out from the experience.

That is all the news from us. We’re really enjoying the time we get to spend with our families before we go, and it finally feels like this trip to Cotonou might actually happen. Our next step? Trying to remember how to speak French.

• We got Flynn’s birth certificate which allowed us to apply for Flynn’s diplomatic passport. This in turn will let us apply for our visas. We hope to have the passport in a week. (A note for anyone in Virginia who needs a birth certificate quickly – just drive to Richmond and pick it up. We made the mistake of ordering an expedited certificate through Vitalchek as recommended by the hospital and it took over two weeks to get it and cost about four times as much. At one point our order was “in processing” for a week so I ended up going to Richmond anyway.)

• Our pack out is now tentatively scheduled for June 22. But first we need our revised travel orders that include Flynn. Getting these orders, of course, depends on Flynn’s medical clearance coming through. He seems like a healthy (if spit up-prone) baby to us, but our pediatrician has to fill out some forms and they have to be approved by the medical office. This is supposed to be a relatively quick process, but we’ve already been warned to expect delays due to the volume of medical clearances needed this time of year.

• Alex and I received our vaccinations on Monday. Aside from some sore arms, we are in good shape. Plus we’ll be better able to sympathize with Flynn when he gets his routine vaccinations next week.

• We think we have our nanny situation sorted out in Benin. At the very least we’ve decided on the person we want to hire initially. If it doesn’t work out, we can always make a change, but she comes highly recommended. Having something in place when we get there will be a relief.

• Our consumable shopping is going well. We have large piles of diapers, wipes and paper towels in our guest room, plus more shampoo and bug spray that I’d ever thought I’d buy. A few more trips to Target, Autozone and Amazon.com and we should be all set.

• We’re a little closer to figuring out how Abbey is getting to Benin. After initially thinking we’d use an expediter, now we’re leaning towards doing this ourselves. We were told we were flying on Delta which has pretty tight restrictions on transporting pets during the summer. It turns out, though, that the flights are operated by Air France, who is much more lenient. Now we just have to sort out all the entry requirements for France and Benin. The problem is that no matter who we ask, we get a different answer. France needs Abbey’s rabies vaccination at least 30 days before arrival, but apparently Benin needs it within 14 days of arrival. Do we get her two vaccinations to satisfy these contradictory requirements? Also, we need to have our health certificate signed by the USDA 3 days, or 10 days, or 14 days before arrival in Benin, depending on who is providing us information. This is by far the most stressful thing at the moment, but I’ve sent out emails to several different sources and hope to have answers by the end of the week.

Sometimes it seems like we have so much to do and everything is so difficult that there is no way we’ll get it all done. We just have to stop and remind ourselves that many other people have navigated similar situations before. Even though having a dog and a newborn make moving to Africa more complicated, we’re not the first people to do this. We also have to focus on the important thing – getting everyone there safe and sound. If we didn’t buy enough paper towels to last two years, or if we forgot to pack chocolate chips in our consumable shipment, well, it isn’t the end of the world.

• Get Flynn’s birth certificate.
• Add Flynn to the travel orders.
• Apply for Flynn’s diplomatic passport (after we receive form DS-1640 of course).
• Receive Flynn’s medical clearance.
• Receive Alex’s new postpartum medical clearance.
• Get visas for everyone.
• Schedule our pack out.
• Book our flights to Benin.
• Get all sorts of vaccinations.
• Buy our consumables.
• Make a final decision on Abbey’s accommodations.
• Figure out our nanny situation in Benin.
• Fill out the paperwork for our per diem reimbursement.
• Schedule some long-delayed dental and eye doctor appointments.
• Buy a few last-minute things we want in Benin.
• And, oh yeah, take care of a newborn.

Fortunately we had some time before Flynn arrived to get organized. Unfortunately, until he was here, there wasn’t much we could actually do except read the regulations and make a detailed timeline of everything that had to be done (yes, I brought these regulations and our timeline to the hospital so we could get a quick start on checking some things off our list).

So far, we’ve managed to make a small but promising dent in our mountain of things to do. The good thing about having a newborn is that suddenly 4am becomes a reasonable time to do some work. But I’d trade that extra work time for a few more hours of sleep any day.

In other news, it seems that the details of my job in Cotonou as a Consular Associate have nearly been finalized. Since last July when becoming a Consular Associate first became a possibility, I’ve had to say that I’ll “probably” work in the Consular section. And that I’m “pretty sure” the job will be available. And “if everything goes as planned” I’ll be a Consular Associate. It will be nice when it is finally official and I will be able to stop using all those inconvenient caveats.

One thing I mentioned to Alex the other day is how much smaller the world seems now that she’s joined the Foreign Service. A year ago when a major international event happened, I would watch the news and learn what I could. I would feel empathy or outrage or whatever other emotion the situation called for. But it was usually in a general sense.

That has changed now.

Where there is an earthquake in Christchurch or violence in Cairo or important elections in Cote d’Iviore, I still watch the news, but now I also realize that I probably know somebody there. There’s somebody I know who is being evacuated or helping evacuate someone else. And usually it’s not just a friend of a friend from college, but somebody who I’ve spoken to or had dinner with in the last few months.

When I hear of breaking international news now, no matter the location, my first thought isn’t “What are the global implications?”, but it’s “Who do I know who lives there?”