the future

There’s a quote: “When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less.”

Sorry for our silence these past few weeks. As you might have guessed, we received Alex’s onward assignment. As you might have also guessed, it was not what we were hoping. It is not an awful place, but it was at the very bottom of our list because it does not meet our only preference: somewhere that would make us becoming a tandem couple possible. We’re confused, angry, and sad all at once. This changes a lot for us, and we’re honestly not sure what’s coming next. We hope you’ll forgive us for not saying more until we do.

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15 Responses to the future

  1. Meaghan says:

    Boo, sorry to hear that!

  2. towelspacked says:

    Mm, that is so hard. I really feel for the whole family. I was afraid there was bad news when you hadn’t posted anything. It seems the people I know who received their second tour assignments are either thrilled (it was in their top 5) or completely besides themselves (your words exactly “confused, angry, and sad” or as someone put it, baffled by the powers that be). We were supposed to social sponsor an FSO who apparently has requested a different posting (likely DC) on the grounds of “compassionate something-or-other.” I had never heard of this (though I’m no HR guru) and have no idea if such a thing actually exists, but I hope it does.

  3. Sadie says:

    Very sorry to hear this. Thinking of you guys as you figure things out!

  4. Kate says:

    Oh no! I figured something was up, but kept obsessively stalking in this page in hopes that I was wrong.


  5. Sarah says:

    I’m so sorry…I’m looking forward to hearing what’s next for you both…

  6. Antoinette says:

    Good Luck! I hope things work out for you in a way that is positive.

  7. Jill says:

    Yuk … I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending you good thoughts.

  8. Aaron says:

    I’m sorry to hear this news. HR at State is deficient in a number of ways. To quote a colleague who has suffered the same sorts of issues, “HR is really bad, it’s the worst in government, and government is the worst in the world.” Play tough and I hope you get what you want.

  9. Eve says:

    One of the thrilling and devastating things about this job. Your family’s future in somebody else’s hands. HR no less. I think the problem really is the lack of transparency and explanation. Thinking about you all and sending positive thoughts your way. Hope everything works out.

  10. Becky says:

    I’m sorry to hear that. I really hope it works out somehow for you all.

  11. bfiles says:

    thinking of you.

  12. DiplomaticMom says:

    Oh, just read now – shit! So sorry to hear this. I should just shut my mouth then I bless the CDO…Alex, any way you can work with the CDO on this?

  13. Dani says:

    oh man, I had a feeling something wasn’t so good. I hope you guys can work it out and maybe be able to change something!

  14. Brooke says:

    Oh, I’m just sick about this. You say what you want to say when you want to say it. Take care. Still thinking about you guys and hoping for things to work out in the end.

  15. lynne says:

    I have also been stalking to see what happened with bidding, I am so sorry to hear the news 🙁 Double check this, once you are tenured I think you can invoke the Cohen rule to curtail to be together so your separation could be relatively short. Good luck!
    @Towelspacked, yes one can curtail or get posted to DC for something like that but I think you need MED to buy into it, or maybe that’s the one MED isn’t involved in. I know someone who did this, but there needs to be a good reason.

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